Cheesy Jokes and Serious Thoughts About Thanksgiving

 

This is probably my favorite cheesy joke of all time.

Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving? The couldn't fit the moose in the oven.
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.
What's the best way to stuff a turkey? Take him out for pizza and ice cream.
What did the turkey say to the hunter? Quack! Quack! Quack!

Teacher: Where did the Pilgrims come from? Student: Their parents, of course.

Time for a little serious talk about the Pilgrims. Let's delineate: they were not the Puritans. It was the Puritans and Henry VIII-inspired later purges that began the 'off with their head' programs that sent the Pilgrims, and groups like them, to the Netherlands, and later, to Virginia (woops, Plymouth Rock.) The Pilgrims were in search of religious freedom, and not only accepted help from the Wampanoag tribe--local Native Americans--but intermarried with them over the next few generations because so many of the Pilgrim group died the first year after they arrived in 1620. Many members of the Pilgrims left Massuchusetts during the Puritan's religious purges, like the Salem Witch Trials, and went to Rhode Island. The English have a dynamic history of religious freedom, for example, William Tyndale who translated the Bible into the English language and was martyred as a rebel. We have religious freedom now due to this legacy. Thousands of Americans have genetic ties to the Pilgrims (DNA evidence now shows) and that information is something to treasure. Now we live the liberty for ourselves and offer it to others.

What kind of music did the Pilgrims play?
Plymouth Rock and Roll.

Q: Why did they let the turkey join the band?
A: Because he had the drumsticks.

What do you call the dirt on a Pilgrim's hands?
Pilgrime.


 What would you get if you crossed a turkey with a spooky spirit?
A poultrygeist.


What's brown and white and flies all over?
A turkey when you carve it with a chainsaw.


How many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey?
One, but you really have to squeeze him in.

Q: What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner?
A: Your nose.

Why did the glutton get a traffic ticket on Thanksgiving?
He was exceeding the feed limit.

 Grandma: What would you like for dessert, Joey?
Joey: Pumpkin pie!
 Grandma: Pumpkin pie, what, dear? Say the magic word. 
Joey: I'm sorry, Grandma. Pumpkin pie, abracadabra!

 What is Math teachers favorite part of Thanksgiving dinner?
Pumpkin Pi.






Knock, knock, who's there?
Arthur.
Arthur who?
Arthur any leftovers?

What would you get if you crossed Easter and Thanksgiving?
Feaster Sunday.

What's the key to a great Thanksgiving?
A tur-key, of course.

This is my second favorite cheesy joke of all time.

Cheesy Jokes and Serious Thoughts for Halloween

 

Pumpkin carving as fine art: The Headless Horseman

This holiday is very controversial; not only does it offend many family's religious convictions (they may believe it is glorifying the 'dark side') but the images and stories are really scarey and icky, even for adults.  

You don't have to believe in the supernatural to be offended or freaked out by Halloween. The concentration on aberrant behavior is enough to be unsettling. What might we do to take the edge off of the disturbing aspects of Halloween?

All children go through various developmental levels (Piaget's theory of cognitive development http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piaget%27s_theory_of_cognitive_development) and it is possible to create an experience appropriate for the child's development. It is not easy, particularly if you live in the modern world, but with effort, a classroom and a family experience can be healthy for a child. For example, even though I enjoy the television show, 'Grimm," it is really not for young children. The episode, La Llorona, will freak out millions of folks, Hispanic or not. Another urban legend I have learned to never mention in class is Bloody Mary; the kids are truly scared. And what's the point of that? ELA classes can study folklore and Edgar Alan Poe without being traumatized.

How about the Simpson's version? I think Edgar would have enjoyed it.

The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe http://www.schooltube.com/video/e850bdb733e729c582a9/The-Raven-by-Edgar-Allan-Poe

Bart always cracks me up as the raven.

Many families, school, and community groups concentrate on Harvest Festivals. That is a fine contrast to the ghastly. But even if you choose a study of nature, for example, spiders are freaky. Most are just helpful little garden buddies, but there are some dangerous ones. Kids need to know. Same with bats, and various birds. Around here we have huge ravens; I see them with their beady eyes focused on my chihuahua.

So we temper the fun, the imaginative, the quaint qualities of this season with supervision and wisdom. If you feel your child's school is offending your family's sensibilities--tell the principal. Tell the superintendent. You and your child have rights, especially when it comes to the quality of the school community activities. Offer an alternative. Autumn and harvest time (in the northern hemisphere) offers very lovely opportunities for art and activities. You could skip the dark side and go straight to Thanksgiving. 

And don't forget, 'It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!' http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It%27s_the_Great_Pumpkin,_Charlie_Brown 

Here's a download: http://www.fanpop.com/spots/halloween/videos/67218/title/peanuts-cartoon-great-pumpkin-charlie-brown

So, where are the jokes? These are just riddle-diculous.

You can actually buy this in NYC.

Did you hear about the new ice cream for monsters? 

Its called cookies and scream.

This is a pic of an actual CookiesNScream Sundae.

Knock, knock, who's there?

Ivan.

Ivan who?

Ivan to bite your neck.

Where did Mzteachuh take the ghost for lunch?

Pizza Haunt.

Why isn't he purple?

Where do werewolves stay on vacation?

The Howliday Inn.

Where does the Wolfman live?

In a werehouse.

Also, my classes used to play 'Name that Tune' with 'Elvira Presents Haunted Hits' just to be very silly. Once we won a decorating contest with our classroom door covered with original panels and comic style story of the Purple People Eater. (Was the People Eater Purple, or did he eat purple people? Inquiring minds want to know.) 

And Drac finally got with it.

bobby 'boris' pickett & the cryptkickers - monster mash 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0thH3qnHTbI 

The mashed potatoes was really a dance?

How do zombies celebrate Halloween?

They paint the town dead.

What oinks and drinks blood?

A hampire.

Sheb Wooley - Purple People Eater (1958) 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9H_cI_WCnE 

 

 Dad: Your older brother sure looks weird and scarey tonight. 

Younger brother: Yeah, just wait til he puts on his mask.

 What did the poultergeist serve at his Halloween party?

Halloweiners.

Routine frequently seen at Middle School dances.

 We can't forget Michael Jackson's 'Thriller." 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOnqjkJTMaA

 What do birds say on Halloween?

Trick or Tweet.

What do fishermen say on Halloween?

Trick or Trout.

THE ADDAMS FAMILY - THEME SONG http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Rn1bzECgHY&feature=relate

What did the little ghost have in his lunch box?

A boo-loney sandwich.

What did he have to drink?

A little box of Ghoul-Aid.

What do you call the eyeglasses for a ghost?

Spooktackles.

Scaredryer.

How did the bootician dry the Wolfman's hair?

With a scaredryer.

Is it good to drink the three weird sister's brew from the Scottish Play?

Yes, its very newt-tricious.

What do baby ghosts like to play?

Shriek-a-boo.

What happened when the phantom disappeared into the fog?

He was mist.

Don't get me started on comic books!Sabrina the Teenage Witch

Did you hear about the hippie werewolf?

He was fur-out, man.

What does an Aussie witch ride on?

A broomerang.

(Well, I'm not.)

And the greatest favorite of all--I even created a tee shirt for myself at Zazzle that read on the back:

I Ain't Afraid of No Ghosts! 

Who ya gonna call?

 Ghostbuster theme song 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytAYsn__ZZI&feature=related 

Halloween Art: Pumpkins and Misunderstood Critters

 

TOP 10 EASY HALLOWEEN BAT CRAFTS FOR KIDS

https://artsycraftsymom.com/top-10-easy-halloween-bat-crafts-for-kids/

Bat Facts for Kids | Classroom Edition Animal Learning Video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVirIPOqC1A

PAPER BAG PUMPKINS

HTTPS://CRAFTPROJECTIDEAS.COM/PAPER-BAG-PUMPKIN-FAVOR/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ez1fYMjOpP4

Black Cat Paper Strips - Halloween craft ideas for kids

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ez1fYMjOpP4

Are Black Cats Unlucky? - Simon's Cat | LOGIC #13

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVOVKHQ0N4I

DIY: Spooky Pine Cone Spiders!

https://www.bargainmoose.ca/guides/diy-spooky-pine-cone-spiders-234411

Spiders for Kids | Educational Science Videos

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRZcbeCSoYQ

HANDPRINT RAVEN CRAFT

https://iheartcraftythings.com/handprint-raven-craft.html

Ravens and crows - the most intelligent birds in the world (animal documentary in HD)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Td-S0fTIGY

Fall Leaf Craft Owl

https://jdaniel4smom.com/2013/10/fall-leaf-craft-owl.html

Owl Facts for Kids

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbvzxiV1zcY

This looks so cute.

Supporting Student Well-Being in the Classroom | Edutopia

Supporting Student Well-Being in the Classroom | Edutopia

Teachable Moment: Memorial Day and Regular Kids Who Were Heroes

This crew was delivering supplies to French civilians during the D Day invasion and was shot down. My dad's cousin, Blake Treece, T/Sgt. Radioman, is in the second row, fifth (l to r.)

My dad was from Marshall, Arkansas. He was 21 years old when Pearl Harbor happened. His older brother, Robert, had already volunteered to fly with the English in the Battle of Britain. As boys, they had built an airplane in the backyard, and dad had participated in a local aeronautical club as an instructor. Both brothers were going to a teacher's college (Arkansas State Teacher's College), until Robert volunteered to fly with the British.
After Pearl Harbor Day,  my dad (Larry) and my aunt Maxine joined the Navy. Both my dad and Uncle Robert flew in the Pacific. My dad was a quick study, after flying Corsairs, became an instructor pilot. Robert became one of the first pilots to fly a B29 as part of the Billy Mitchell Group, sort of a test pilot while fighting the war.

Robert, Grandma, Alphia, Larry, Maxine. Just after Pearl Harbor Day.

The Lady Hamilton, B 29, Billy Mitchell Group.

Robert was captain of Lady Hamilton B 29, on a bombing mission that flew from India, over the Himalayas (called 'Flying the Hump') and China to Japan when the plane developed engine trouble, and the second target was chosen. Japanese Zeroes pursued. Robert, as captain, ordered most of the crew to parachute out (they were aided by Chinese and survived.) He and two other crew completed the mission but were shot down by the Zeroes, losing their lives in 1944.

College Memorial (OCA) with the names Robert Mills and Blake Treece.

My grandma's nephew and my dad's first cousin, Blake Treece, was a radio operator for a B-17 in the European theatre. Blake left the same college as his cousins to enlist. His plane was shot down in 1944 over France. The remains of the crew were buried by a French farmer, and recovered in 2006 due to  historical excavations of the Caen area. Blake and his crew members were then buried in 2006 in a ceremony at Arlington National Cemetary.

Another of my grandmother's nephews and my dad's first cousin from Searcy, Arkansas, Claude A. McBride, served in the Army in the Philippines, being killed in action.

Regular kids from a most regular, simple town in America, Marshall, Arkansas. Where does the courage and brilliance come from? On this Memorial Day, by my observation as a teacher, the USA is filled with such courage and brilliance in all our boys and girls. Devotion, teamwork, collaboration that leads to heroic deeds develops in the minds, spirits, and souls of kids allowed to believe in their own capacity for excellence and their intrinsic value as citizens. Kids from all demographics and ethnicities, which is, of course, what America is made of.

I feel compassion for my little grandma in the photo, knowing she would lose her Robert. And her brother and sister would lose their Claude and not know ever what happened to Blake. (They passed away before his remains were found.)

We can value their choice to serve our country and expect the same excellence and commitment to all varieties of service to continue because all regular kids can be heroes. And they're sitting in your classrooms.

All American Cheesy Jokes and Serious Thoughts

Hurrah for the red, white and silly. And Garfield has just the light-hearted touch we sometimes need.

Try not to turn each of these jokes and riddles into too much of an opportunity to teach, though with younger children, you might have some 'splaining to do, Lucy.

Teacher: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
Student: On the bottom.

Teacher: The Declaration of Independence was written in Philadelphia. True or false?
Student: False. It was written in ink.

What did Paul Revere say at the end of his ride? I've got to get a softer saddle.

And just to be teachery, don't forget Longfellow's adventuresome poem, 'The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere.' It's so cheesy, kids love it. 

Paul Revere's Ride

By Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems-and-poets/poems/detail/44637 

Embarrassed someone saw my crack.

Keep in torch!

Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell? Yeah, it cracked me up.

What did the visitor say as he left the Statue of Liberty? Keep in torch.

What did one flag say to another--nothing, it just waved.

'What kind of tea do Americans thirst for? Liber--ty. Ha ha.'

                                    What colonists told the most jokes? Punsylvanians.

Very good read.

Now for a serious thought. The greatest founding father, in my opinion, was John Adams. He supported all citizens, and did not believe in slavery, not a bit. He and his family had no connection with slavery at all. He argued in  the Continental Congress for the abolition of slavery, foreseeing the schism it would cause in a new America; which it surely did in the Civil War. He and his wife Abigail supported integration in their home town of Braintree, Massachusetts, in the local school. John Adams had the education, brilliance and insight to see that the colonies needed to empower all the people no matter what; he worried that the British would treat the American colonies as they had Ireland. He was humble enough to recommend Thomas Jefferson be the compiler and writer of the Congress' thoughts, but historians know it was Adams who was the prime thinker. He was an innovative diplomat, a President who would see the big picture, and a faithful and loving husband and father. I think the latter should count for a lot. Thank you, John Adams, for taking care of baby America.

Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other. John Adams

John Adams

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/j/john_adams_2.html?gcl

Family and Community Stress - Child Mind Institute

Family and Community Stress - Child Mind Institute

Healthy Child Growth - Positive Parenting, Thriving Kids

Healthy Child Growth - Positive Parenting, Thriving Kids

How to Support Students Afflicted by Trauma (Opinion)

How to Support Students Afflicted by Trauma (Opinion)

April 8, 2024 Partial Solar Eclipse in Apple Valley, California, USA

We'll get about 58%.
I've already seen two other total eclipses-I guess that is unusual. At Hickam AFB Honolulu, Hawaii 1991 (during homeschool) and here in Apple Valley at Granite Hills High School 2017.

April 8, 2024 Partial Solar Eclipse in Apple Valley, California, USA

Best Educational Links This Week 4/8/2024

 

A LOOK BACK: WHAT HAPPENS IN A TYPICAL DAY DURING MY ELL NEWCOMERS CLASS

Larry Ferlazzo

https://larryferlazzo.edublogs.org/2024/04/07/a-look-back-what-happens-in-a-typical-day-during-my-ell-newcomers-class-2/?fbclid=IwAR0ulLA9GvkG11qB4anhBb5tnmV6Gq0pDX1-LsCkzMXEoKTYFXfmoG83AEo_aem_AUXAVhAx9tnZuVrpZxIBeHUdl9R_yZghha76hmhia65QMF0yonrVjgMirRqfCI6A9DDx0Lna1DSBxQR9cQvj9Dju

The Station Rotation Model Tip #2: Arrange Your Furniture to Maximize Focus and Engagement

Caitlin Tucker

https://catlintucker.com/2023/04/station-rotation-arrange-furniture/?fbclid=IwAR0cJC7u6VDlLhYM82ICmzhcp-wYBVkTrP059AJuqLkgFWsZfJ-YG89HOkQ_aem_AUWWHEXDfSkbaDn7i8_9a-KLHWWLT5NBe0KJyyZjUFnmMNbENTDalK3W942MBJeCDObpuCvIA3dheB1V0N7jIa6g

The main goal of a flipped classroom is to enhance student learning and achievement by reversing the traditional model of a classroom, focusing class time on student understanding rather than on lecture.

TeachThought

10 Pros And Cons Of A Flipped Classroom

https://www.teachthought.com/learning/pros-and-cons-of-a-flipped-classroom/

Holly Korbey

Can parents save math?

https://hollykorbey.substack.com/p/can-parents-save-math?r=424tg&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email&fbclid=IwAR1vjZJS9GmO5loxJmnN76fW2SR3kkUUconGG2_nLLrbq9tmiKGfzK5XmyM_aem_AUVkX1unk9In-MWrhyJSaN1LA2_QfHiSNHeL41LzlDc4DwFBnNRApSMy5zxViLcWHiddm8lw33wEddJQxsexEStf&triedRedirect=true

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