Cheesy Jokes and Serious Thoughts for Halloween

Pumpkin carving as fine art: The Headless Horseman

This holiday is very controversial; not only does it offend many family's religious convictions (they may believe it is glorifying the 'dark side') but the images and stories are really scarey and icky, even for adults.  

You don't have to believe in the supernatural to be offended or freaked out by Halloween. The concentration on aberrant behavior is enough to be unsettling. What might we do to take the edge of of the disturbing aspects of Halloween?

All children go through various developmental levels (Piaget's theory of cognitive development http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piaget%27s_theory_of_cognitive_development) and it is possible to create an experience appropriate for the child's development. It is not easy, particularly if you live in the modern world, but with effort, a classroom and a family experience can be healthy for a child. For example, even though I enjoy the television show, 'Grimm," it is really not for young children. One episode, La Llorona, will freak out millions of folks, Hispanic or not. Another urban legend I have learned to never mention in class is Bloody Mary; the kids are truly scared. And what's the point of that? ELA classes can study folklore and Edgar Alan Poe without being traumatized.

How about the Simpson's version? I think Edgar would have enjoyed it.

The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe http://www.schooltube.com/video/e850bdb733e729c582a9/The-Raven-by-Edgar-Allan-Poe

Bart always cracks me up as the raven.

Many families, school, and community groups concentrate on Harvest Festivals. That is a fine contrast to the ghastly. But even if you choose a study of nature, for example, spiders are freaky. Most are just helpful little garden buddies, but there are some dangerous ones. Kids need to know. Same with bats, and various birds. Around here we have huge ravens; I see them with their beady eyes focused on my chihuahua.

So we temper the fun, the imaginative, the quaint qualities of this season with supervision and wisdom. If you feel your child's school is offending your family's sensibilities--tell the principal. Tell the superintendent. You and your child have rights, especially when it comes to the quality of the school community activities. Offer an alternative. Autumn and harvest time (in the northern hemisphere) offers very lovely opportunities for art and activities. You could skip the dark side and go straight to Thanksgiving. 

Yeah, Linus, I agree with you.

And don't forget, 'It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!' http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It%27s_the_Great_Pumpkin,_Charlie_Brown 

Here's a download: http://www.fanpop.com/spots/halloween/videos/67218/title/peanuts-cartoon-great-pumpkin-charlie-brown

So, where are the jokes? These are just riddle-diculous.

You can actually buy this in NYC.

Did you hear about the new ice cream for monsters? 

Its called cookies and scream.
This is a pic of an actual CookiesNScream Sundae.

Knock, knock, who's there?

Ivan.

Ivan who?

Ivan to bite your neck.

Where did Mzteachuh take the ghost for lunch?

Pizza Haunt.

Why isn't he purple?

Where do werewolves stay on vacation?

The Howliday Inn.

Where does the Wolfman live?

In a werehouse.

Also, my classes used to play 'Name that Tune' with 'Elvira Presents Haunted Hits' just to be very silly. Once we won a decorating contest with our classroom door covered with original panels and comic style story of the Purple People Eater. (Was the People Eater Purple, or did he eat purple people? Inquiring minds want to know.) 

And Drac finally got with it.

bobby 'boris' pickett & the cryptkickers - monster mash 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0thH3qnHTbI 

The mashed potatoes was really a dance?

How do zombies celebrate Halloween?

They paint the town dead.

What oinks and drinks blood?

A hampire.

Sheb Wooley - Purple People Eater (1958) 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9H_cI_WCnE 

 

 Dad: Your older brother sure looks weird and scarey tonight. 

Younger brother: Yeah, just wait til he puts on his mask.

 What did the poultergeist serve at his Halloween party?

Halloweiners.

Routine frequently seen at Middle School dances.

 We can't forget Michael Jackson's 'Thriller." 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hG6oy46qKE4

 What do birds say on Halloween?

Trick or Tweet.

What do fishermen say on Halloween?

Trick or Trout.

THE ADDAMS FAMILY - THEME SONG http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Rn1bzECgHY&feature=relate

What did the little ghost have in his lunch box?

A boo-loney sandwich.

What did he have to drink?

A little box of Ghoul-Aid.

 What do you call the eyeglasses for a ghost?

Spooktackles.

Scaredryer.

How did the bootician dry the Wolfman's hair?

With a scaredryer.

Is it good to drink the three weird sister's brew from the Scottish Play?

Yes, its very newt-tricious.

What do baby ghosts like to play?

Shriek-a-boo.

What happened when the phantom disappeared into the fog?

He was mist.

Don't get me started on comic books!Sabrina the Teenage Witch

Did you hear about the hippie werewolf?

He was fur-out, man.

What does an Aussie witch ride on?

A broomerang.

(Well, I'm not.)

And the greatest favorite of all--I even created a tee shirt for myself at Zazzle that read on the back:

I Ain't Afraid of No Ghosts! 

Who ya gonna call?

 Ghostbuster theme song 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytAYsn__ZZI&feature=related