Thursday, November 12, 2015

Cheesy Jokes and Serious Thoughts About Thanksgiving




The above joke is probably my favorite cheesy joke of all time.
Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving? The couldn't fit the moose in the oven.

  If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.
  What's the best way to stuff a turkey? Take him out for pizza and ice cream.
  What did the turkey say to the hunter? Quack! Quack! Quack!
Teacher: Where did the Pilgrims come from? Student: Their parents, of course.




Time for a little serious talk about the Pilgrims. Let's delineate: they were not the Puritans. It was the Puritans and Henry VIII-inspired later purges that began the 'off with their head' programs that sent the Pilgrims, and groups like them, to the Netherlands, and later, to Virginia (woops, Plymouth Rock.) The Pilgrims were in search of religious freedom, and not only accepted help from the Wampanoag tribe--local Native Americans--but intermarried with them over the next few generations because so many of the Pilgrim group died the first year after they arrived in 1620. Many members of the Pilgrims left Massuchusetts during the Puritan's religious purges, like the Salem Witch Trials, and went to Rhode Island. The English have a dynamic history of religious freedom, for example, William Tyndale who translated the Bible into the English language and was martyred as a rebel. We have religious freedom now due to this legacy. Thousands of Americans have genetic ties to the Pilgrims (DNA evidence now shows) and that information is something to treasure. Now we live the liberty for ourselves and offer it to others.




What kind of music did the Pilgrims play?
Plymouth Rock and Roll.

Q: Why did they let the turkey join the band?
A: Because he had the drumsticks.





What do you call the dirt on a Pilgrim's hands?
Pilgrime.


 What would you get if you crossed a turkey with a spooky spirit?
A poultrygeist.


What's brown and white and flies all over?
A turkey when you carve it with a chainsaw.


How many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey?
One, but you really have to squeeze him in.

Q: What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner?
A: Your nose.


Why did the glutton get a traffic ticket on Thanksgiving?
He was exceeding the feed limit.

 Grandma: What would you like for dessert, Joey?
Joey: Pumpkin pie!

 Grandma: Pumpkin pie, what, dear? Say the magic word. 
Joey: I'm sorry, Grandma. Pumpkin pie, abracadabra!








 What is Math teachers favorite part of Thanksgiving dinner?
Pumpkin Pi.






Knock, knock, who's there?
Arthur.
Arthur who?
Arthur any leftovers?






What would you get if you crossed Easter and Thanksgiving?
Feaster Sunday.

What's the key to a great Thanksgiving?
A tur-key, of course.

This is my second favorite cheesy joke of all time.





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